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that awkward moment…

…when, 3 months after someone told you that they would do something, you find out that they haven’t done a damn thing, and now it’s your fault that another someone hasn’t gotten paid since mid-May.

Severe incompetence annoys the crap out of me. All I want to say is…

proposal for a new protected class: the newly single

My potential new landlord is concerned that I own a condo even though I will be renting out a room to cover my part of the mortgage.

But what if he can’t pay? What will you do then?

I WILL FIGURE IT OUT. DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT I HAVE NOT THOUGHT OF THAT ALREADY? PLEASE QUIT BEING AN UNSYMPATHETIC ASSHOLE.

If this deal doesn’t go through because I’m going through some life changes right now, I am going to lose my shit. I understand that I could potentially be a risk as a “business investment,” but (1) being a landlord requires that one take some risks, since you never know if your tenant will lose their job, get sick, etc., and (2) I will be signing a lease and therefore legally responsible to pay you regardless of my personal situation.

Everyone deserves a place to live, and I REFUSE to move into a unit for people with bad credit when I have EXCELLENT credit just because my relationship did not work out. That’s not fair to me nor to the people who actually need a unit like that.

I’m fully aware that my argument can be torn to shreds, but right now, I am too emotionally weary to care. I just want it all to be over already.

back to square one

I loathe craigslist. If I see one more “modern” apartment that hasn’t been updated since 1972, I’m going to hurl.

Also, realtor fees should ALWAYS be paid by the owner. First, last, security AND a fee is 4 months’ rent. That is 1/3 of a year. Sometimes people don’t have 4 months’ rent just lying around waiting for one of life’s lemons. I can’t even imagine what it must be like to live in actual poverty.

shit happens…

…and all at the same time, because why not?! Here’s a quick, PG rated version of my summer thus far.

May

  • Started my very own vegetable/herb container gardens
  • Got a fitbit

June

  • Got into a crazy fight that ended up with me on a stoop at 5 AM covered in someone else’s blood and crying to the police while my friend was taken away in an ambulance (not an exaggeration)
  • Started writing in a real journal for the first time in ages
  • Started reading a book on open relationships because that’s a friggen fabulous idea
  • Went to Puerto Rico for 48 hours
  • Ended “open relationship” after 2 weeks because that shit is too difficult
  • Start personal training even though I have no money
  • Joined match.com
  • Decided that match.com was stupid and downloaded tinder
  • Went on first tinder date the day after downloading

July

  • Became a dating machine
  • Whoa, work got crazy hard
  • Mom lost her job and cancelled her wedding scheduled for August
  • Dad got shingles (on top of his 4 herniated discs and bursitis)
  • Decided to move out of my house and started looking for apartments
  • Stayed with a friend for 10 days
  • Took a sabbatical from the wine store because let’s change everything at the same time
  • Joined a kickball league
  • Tripped up the stairs and broke my toenail coming home from a bridal shower afterparty, because my friends do cool things like that
  • Met a great guy

August

  • Attended an epic bachelorette party where I ended up with giant scrapes and bruises from a piggy-back ride gone awry
  • Got a vicious scrape on my leg from an epic kickball fall
  • Still looking for apartments and it sucks
  • Dad’s wife lost her job and her mother ended up in the hospital…again
  • Spent (or am about to spend) thousands of dollars on a bajillion weddings and related activities

All the time

  • Was late for/completely missed appointments
  • Ate the worst foods possible (except for when I ate my organic home-grown zucchini and lettuce)
  • Drank everything
  • Spent a lot of time on public transit (or in uber cars)
  • Carried my life around with me because I never knew where I would end up on any given night
  • Stared into space for extended periods of times
  • Cried (teared up, wept, sobbed, etc.)
  • Did not respond to pretty much anything or anyone
  • Made poor decisions on the regular
  • Discovered that you can still have fun and laugh while being completely devastated that your life as you knew it is gone

In the near future

  • Will find a place to live and move there
  • Will stop bleeding money
  • Will finish all of this summer work and start the school year fresh
  • Will take a few days off
  • Will see so many people that I love so dearly for various celebrations and commiserations
  • Will get on with (and enjoy) my new life, whatever it brings

Breaking Up Is More Expensive Than You Think

I’ve been informed that I absolutely must start blogging again because my life is super ridiculous. I don’t currently have the emotional bandwidth to begin to explain what my summer has been like, so let’s start with this timely article that explains some of the shit that I’ve been wading through since the beginning of June.

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